//Growing Up Is Hard

Growing Up Is Hard

What Now?

Now that I have gotten what I wanted – a place of my own, I have to figure out how to manage my life. I didn’t want anyone else deciding my fate or choosing what path I walk down. That also means that there is no one left to blame when life doesn’t go my way. I am finally accountable to myself for my own actions. When I was in rehab I frequently asked myself and others ‘what now?’ So, what now?

I’ve been thinking: This is what the living do.

I have to be responsible for myself now. I already am good about doing my homework, getting up for the running club and making my appointments, but I do all of those things almost out of defiance rather out of some inspired sense of self improvement. That is not fair, to me. I work very hard and log many miles doing my work. This January I tallied up over 129 miles of walking – that’s right, just walking. Still, I feel too close to something that I’m trying to get away from. Not knowing what I am running from though makes it so I can’t stop or slow down to find out.

This growing up is hard.

I’m still complaining and singing my sob story about running from the devil within, but what am I doing about it? I am entertaining offers from colleges -hopefully UMass Amherst makes me an offer to compete with Bridgewater and there is always Harvard … 

Harvard’s Questions (all 10-500 words):

  1. Did any time elapse between high school and college or have you left any school or college voluntarily for an extended period of time.
  2. Briefly, please indicate the most influential factors in your original decision to attend your present college, such as location, cost, size of student body, only option, special program offered, Early Decision plan, etc.
  3. What alternatives to transferring to Harvard are you considering?
  4. Please indicate your field of specialization and briefly outline your academic plans at Harvard College.
  5. What are your current postgraduate/career plans?
  6. Briefly discuss one book that has strongly influenced you.

This Just In.

The Equation for The Theory of Life, the Universe and Everything

Have you ever seen anything so beautiful?

https://www.symmetrymagazine.org/article/the-deconstructed-standard-model-equation

Seriously though, it is impressive.

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